How to save your relationship from a breakup. In this article we will be discussing about how to save your relationship from a breakup. If your are going through some relationship issues then this article is for you.
How to save your relationship from a breakup
Our relationship are life. If you look at life, all it really is, is relationships. We have a relationship with our self, we have a relationship with other things, we have a relationship with other people. That`s what life is. So, obviously for us to feel safe in life we have to feel free from harm in our relationships. But the reality is, most of us have no idea how to save your relationship from a breakup.
When we are in a crisis we should never, never rationalize the situation. Even if you’re right your partner will think that you’re wrong. Then we will have a fight, a bad communication. So it’s time now to not enter into a dialogue, to not go into a communication where someone should have the right answers. Nobody is right. Here are 3 basic points to consider:
- The number one action is to take distance, because at this moment we will not try to rationalize the situation to have the right answers. We are just be here working on yourself, and let the communication that emotion goes down, where we can have the real communication.
It’s really important what I’m telling you now, because when we are in a crisis we just have a lot of fights. We always want to find a solution but there is some resentment. Everything that we will say will be taken to consideration as bad words. Nothing that we want.
- When we are in a crisis that’s means we cannot spend a good time. Your partner will look at you, and will look at every habit that you have. If you can change some of your habit for example, when you cook at home I want you to put music. Same thing when you are cleaning the house you have to put music, you have to smile.
You have to show that every single habit that you have has changed completely. If you can do that, that will show that you are not in the crisis. That will show that now you decide to be broad your life you decide to be happy. Now your partner will be able to understand everything that you have changed, and also to make sure that he or she can see the future with you. And that`s how you will save your relationship from a breakup.
- Always think about new activities. It’s really important to bring positive emotions into your relationship. Never talk about the past, never talk about the relationship, never talk about all the bad things. We’re just here to enjoy the present moment, and you can do it.
You can enjoy this present moment. Even if you are in a crisis there is some simple solution that you can find right now. But the solution are not going to see your partner, going to talk to your partner, because at this moment you will just have a misunderstanding, a miscommunication, a lot of fights things that we don’t want.
4 Best Tips Of Relationship
Communication comes first in our list of how to save your relationship from a breakup. It is one of the most important thing if you want to save your relation from a breakup. Whenever Trust is lost, what we don’t want to lose after trust is lost is communication. Communication actually needs to pick up a little bit more. I think the lack of communication creates loss of trust. So, to rebuild trust requires us to literally step up the amount and the frequency of communication. I’ve got 3 boys that I’ve raised and still are raising, right?
We always are raising our children all through life. And along their travels, they’ve did things where I trust levels were really tiny. And I knew in that moment that we had to pick back up on communication. And that means that we’re communicating more frequently, and more clearly about everyday experiences so that we can rebuild that trust.
“Communication to a relationship is like oxygen is to life. Without it, it dies”
So, instead of letting communication go to the wayside or cutting the person off and not having communication and here you want to rebuild this trust, you start the communication. Don’t wait for the other person to start. Now, remember this is communication not interrogation. It’s communication.
If we can desire, and wish, and want for that connection to hold together, and never breaks, communication will bring in the level of connection. And I believe it’s also important that we believe what we act as though we want to maintain or rebuild a reestablish that level of connection with the person.
Connection means that we’re willing to listen, we’re willing to talk, we’re willing to sort things out. And emotionally, even though we may be hurt, we still are including this person in our life.
3. Agreements in writing
You must be wondering how can a written agreement be helpful in how to save your relationship from a breakup. Well, believe me my friends it can. A verbal agreement can get forgotten about; it can be twisted. It can be totally rearranged in somebody’s head about what was said.
My friends, my suggestion to you is to put all agreements in writing. They have a copy, you have a copy or it’s posted somewhere, about what they’re going to do and what you’re going to do to help build this trust. And now 2 weeks later, 1 of the 2 people either me or them, they forgot about what the verbal agreement is. And they got it mixed up, and now we have another level of trust that’s being broken.
With an agreement can come some expectations. But an expectation without an agreement is going to be a problem. So, remember that. And put it in writing.
4. Positive story of each other
Because we can all dredge up enough evidence to literally talk bad about somebody or talk down about somebody. That you can do to anybody. You can find enough things wrong with any person to talk bad about them. If this is your child or your spouse or somebody at the office that this trust has been lost, we must put our minds in the right place that this is going to be a better experience.
Now, do we forget about what happened? Well, we can let go of the pain of what happened little bits at a time is, its time and it’s necessary. And it’s and it’s that part of our life where we can feel like we move past that. But we also we need to remember what behaviors are actually being worked on.
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you”
( Positive thinking works )
And so, I can think positive about my son that he’s going to change, he’s going to adjust, he’s going to follow his new agreement that he decided on. And I can project that kind of information towards him. Because if I’m still thinking in a negative way towards my son while he’s trying to change a behavior to be better, I could be holding him back.
There are couples where one spouse could not let go of their negative thinking about their spouse. And their spouse is doing all these changes, and all these things that are different and better, but that spouse couldn’t even see them. Couldn’t even notice it. Because they just kept telling the same negative stories over and over again. The spouse didn’t even have a chance of making a change.
( It takes both )
So, it takes both. A positive story about yourself, and a positive story about the other person. Now, does that mean that this positive story is going to make us blind to the possibility that they can make more mistakes? No. Positive stories actually helped us be more in tune.
A negative story going on in our head about people actually causes us to not be in tuned. We do not need to tell negative stories to catch negative things. Negative stories downgrade us. Negative stories hurt us. They drop our energy, it drops our emotions, it drops our ability to be in tune.
So, if you keep a negative story inside of you about another person, you won’t even catch what’s going on. Good or bad. My suggestion on number 4 is a positive story about yourself and the other person actually is going to help you and it’s going to help them.
How To Rebuild Lost Trust In A Relationship
Its going to happen
Sooner or later it’s going to happen. You’re going to lose trust with somebody. And why is that going to happen? Well, we’re all human. This is either going to happen with a friend, somebody at work, a neighbor, a child, your spouse, a family member. I think I just covered most people in the world, right? And sooner or later, it’s going to happen. And what do we do when this happens? Or when the trust is lost? Is that the end? Is there no way to ever build it back? Or what…?
Well in short, I believe people changes, their believe behavior changes, and their way of thinking changes. But with little efforts, and practice we actually can improve our lives, and that is true.
Does time heals everything?
People say time heals all wounds in time it’ll get passed. Time heals nothing, it’s what you do in that time. Its you made this mess with your choices, and you clean it up, until you don’t clean it up for a week or a month or six months you clean it up until it’s cleaned up. That doesn’t mean you don’t have responsibilities here either.
You have to work to get your hurt healed. You can’t just be bitter and resentful for the rest of your life or this relationship will fail. That is where this healing is gonna start.
Find your broken places
You’ve got to look at your broken places. Look at your broken places, not excuse them, not try to fix them. You just try to look at your broken places, and then understand where that break is bleeding into your life. If you got a break it’s bleed somewhere. And then don’t just do pain management, be willing to do the surgery. The way that you do that surgery is to tell the truth about what you feel. Not about what they did or what happened.
Tell the truth about what you feel, like I feel broken, I feel crazy, I feel weak, I feel less, I feel stupid, I feel lost, I feel hungry. Whatever tell the truth about what you feel, and stop pointing fingers, and blaming about what people didn’t do, and then forgive.
Yes they will be angry
The most thing to remember that people are going to be angry at times. Let them be angry, let them feel the emotions. Sit with them when they are feeling that way, and try to be as tolerant as possible.
Show maturity, and show consistency. Something that is essential in rebuilding trust is actually communicating, and asking what they need from you in order to trust you more. This really works in our main topic of how to save your relationship from a breakup.
So, many people fail to ask the other person how they can build their trust again on them. They may need more transparency, they may need you to check in with them a little bit more. Whatever it is, ask the question so that you actually know what its going to take to rebuild the trust.
Unsafe relationship definition
The definition of an unsafe relationship is a relationship with somebody who cannot take us as part of themselves so as to take our best interests as part of their own best interests. This is essentially a state of disconnection. It’s a state where, because a person perceives themselves to be so separate from you, they cannot see, hear, feel and really understand you.
So, they can’t even know what your best interests really are. It’s essentially a lack of attunement and a lack of love.
“A great relationship doesn`t happen because of the love you had in the beginning, but how well you continue building love until the end”
Now, most people are confused about love, and relationship. They associate love with just feeling so positive towards someone. But feeling that positively towards something is actually a byproduct of love. It’s not what love is.
To love, is to take something as part of yourself. It just so happens that most often when we do this, it’s natural that we feel positive towards that thing. Now what’s attunement? To attune to something, is to bring yourself into a state of harmony with that thing. It’s a feeling of being at one with something.
( Difficult times will come )
You know no matter how hard we try, there’s difficult things that happen between us, and other people. And Trust can be lost. There are time in life that you’re going to lose trust with somebody.
Well, we’re all human, and we have different types of relationships, this is either going to happen with a friend, somebody at work, a neighbor, a child, your spouse, a family member. I pretty much I think I just covered most people in the world, right? And sooner or later, it’s going to happen. And what do we do when this happens? Or when the trust is lost? Is that the end? Is there no way to ever build it back? Or what…?
What is it that we do? Do we have to go to a relationship therapist? Or do we take some relationship counselling? Because I’ve met a lot of people in my life who have said to me directly, “That person can never regain trust with me ever again.” And that’s sad because if they we don’t learn how to rebuild trust, then there’s no chances.
( People changes with time )
We cannot understand relationship psychology. There’s only a certain number of things we can do wrong, and then we’re just pretty much done for the rest of our life. I believe people can change, and I believe behavior can change. I believe that if with training, practice, agreements, and being with people, we actually can improve our lives.
I don’t think we’re all set, and untoned. That’s it, and that’s all you get. Because when I was growing up as a kid, I lost my dad’s trust. I’ve lost my mom’s trust. Because I would make mistakes. You know I’d tell them I was going to do something, and then I didn’t do it or they gave me a responsibility, and I failed miserably. I bet you’ve done the same thing growing up. You know or even right now in your life. We have to admit that truth.
A healthy relationship
Now that you’re in your teens, you may feel like you want to spend less time with your family and more time with your friends. During this time, some of your friendships may deepen, while others might fade away. And some of your friendships may even become romantic.
Being in a healthy relationship, whether a friendship or a romantic relationship, can be fun, but it can also be complicated. And off course it helps in how to save your relationship from a breakup. So, here are some rules to follow to make sure your friendships are healthy.
- In a healthy relationship, each person supports and encourages the other.
- Real friends want to know what you’re thinking and feeling, and they’ll be interested in what you have to say.
- It’s OK to have disagreements, even in a healthy relationship, but it’s important to do so respectfully and talk openly about it with each other.
- Sometimes, in a relationship, you’ll need to compromise, but in a healthy relationship, the same person should not be the one who always compromises. It’s important for both people to give and take.
- Finally, it’s important to treat your relationships with care, and if a friend or a romantic partner makes you feel small, teases you, or physically or sexually pushes you into doing things that you don’t really want to do, then this might not be a healthy relationship for you.
Remember, a healthy relationship, whether just a friendship or a romantic relationship, should make you feel good about yourself and who you are. After all, you are pretty great.
“A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your friends, your dreams, or your dignity”
We all forget, we all mess up, and we all do things wrong. So maybe what we actually need to do is get better at on how to rebuild this lost trust, and that is exactly how to save your relationship from a breakup. If we believe people can change, what I think is that we also facilitates that we love people. And so, by giving a person another chance, and another chance, and another chance, it means that we care and we love the person. I think it’s a great place to come from.
Overall, that’s part of life, loving and forgiving each other. And we keep doing it over, and over again until we all get to figure this out. As they say, if there is a will, there is a way. Enjoy your life.
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